Last week I spoke about the need to supervise our brains. This week I am going to talk about how to actually do that. I will discuss how what we think, triggers a feeling, that leads to an action, that creates a result. I will also explore the concept that we actually have a say over what happens in our brains because our thoughts are optional. WHAT??? Yep, that is what I said. Read on to learn more.
I was certified at The Life Coach School and my mentor is Brooke Castillo. She created The Model which is what I am writing about today. The Model applies to every situation and every single thought and is a extremely effective way to figure out what needs supervising in our brains. Here is how it works.
The top line of the model is the circumstance, which is factual and neutral. It has to be agreed upon by everybody or it is not a circumstance. The next line is the thought (short phrase) we have about the circumstance. That thought triggers a feeling (one word) which is the F line, and that leads to the A line which is Actions (and inactions as well). The last line is the result which is always about us and directly linked to the thought we have. I will give you a couple examples of what it looks like. This is important because all of my coaching and discussion is from the perspective of The Model so it will be helpful for understanding the terminology I use on my blog and in my podcast episodes.
C (Circumstance)-On hold waiting to talk to Wix Billing Dept for 25.47 now T (Thought)-This should not be taking this much time! F (Feeling)-Frustrated! A (Action)-Resisting present moment, dwelling in negative emotions, heart rate increasing, fantasizing about yelling at Wix rep R (Result)-This is taking exactly as much time as it should and I am wasting it being frustrated.
Notice how I just stuck with the facts in the circumstance line. If anybody checked the phone records, they would see that I was on the phone the amount of time I said. Totally factual and agreed upon by everybody. If I said I was on phone for a long time, that would not be a fact, just a judgement. See how my thought line is a simple phrase and not a compound sentence. That makes it easier to identify one feeling associated with the thought. When you look at the action line, you can see that I primarily shut down and stopped acting which often times happens when we experience a negative emotion.The result then is always about me and directly links back to my thought. In this case my thinking it should not take this amount of time is inaccurate because it is!
C (Circumstance)-I was certified as a life coach 9/14/2020 by the Life Coach School T (Thought)-Becoming a life coach is a calling for me F (Feeling)-Inspired
A (Actions)-Self-coach, do models daily, practice self-care, meditate daily, eat healthy, follow food protocols, practice coaching, make offers, keep moving forward to get clients, etc.
R (Result)-I am answering my calling as a life coach
These are two examples of how the model works. The model is applicable to every thought we have in life and provides us with clarity regarding how are brain is creating the results we have in our life. Now you will understand when I use this terminology moving forward in my blog posts and podcast episodes.
Now that we understand how The Model works, you are probably wondering what I was talking about regarding optional thoughts. Well once we supervise our brain and realize what we are creating, we can choose to change the result if we prefer to feel differently or get another outcome. It is important to know where we are though, before we change our thoughts.
For instance, in my first model, I thought This should not be taking so long (still on hold as I write this by the way!) and that made me frustrated and did not get me anywhere. I decided to choose a different thought that would work for me and lead to a different result. My new thought is I am going to make good use of my time while I am on hold. That inspired patience, which lead to me writing this blog while on holding waiting for the Wix billing department. The result then was that I made good use of my time:)
In conclusion, The Model is applicable to every situation in life. It provides us with clarity as to how our brains are working and why we are getting the results we want in life. It is nice to know that thoughts are optional and we can purposely change them, but also equally important to be aware of what our default mode is for our own unique brain. Looking forward to getting you more familiar with how to supervise your brain as we get to know each other.